As you recall, in my opening article for the magazine, I said I own guns. I might not have said this...In a perfect world, I wouldn't feel I need a firearm to be safe. There wouldn't be people opposed to gays, gay-friendly, different, liberal, all-loving and all-encompassing people. People who take everyone at their word and their worth, and don't try to pass judgment. Nice, decent people who raise their families, do their jobs, and try to peacfully coexist with everyone else in the world.
Of course, we all know this isn't a perfect world. We have all known scary people, people who would hurt or kill us just because of our beliefs, religion, values, etc. O.k. you're saying, so why did I choose to be an armed citizen, when so many people have chosen the peaceful path. The path where all violence is shunned, and no violence is bestowed upon people who wrong or hurt us. I know some people would say that I can't be a true liberal, since I believe in the right to own a gun. I understand I come off sounding rather typical, male, and hypocritical by claiming I'm liberal, yet also saying (complicitly or otherwise) that I could shoot and kill someone if it came down to it.
I don't put this out looking to apologize, or to win people over to my argument. Time is short, and I don't want to spend my life debating issues. Am I a hypocrite? Probably, in a way. Do I add to the problem of men thinking all they do is right, and contributing to the cycle of worldwide violence? Yeah, I probably do. Do I have a reason to be scared of people in this world? Yes, I think we have all known or met people that we felt would cause us physical or mental harm sooner or later. So if I am helping to mess up this world, why? Why give in to the cycle of violence? Why not try to change things.......
All good questions. Here is my mindset.
I don't want to be a statistic. I don't want to be a martyr. I will be if that's my only option, but if possible, i'll avoid that. Matthew Shepard..."they" killed him, then had the balls to protest at his funeral!!! He was gay, so (according to them) he deserved to die. A very real mindset, spouted by many people (yes, mostly men [who drive jacked-up pickups and have a redneck mentality] who own bats, knives, guns, etc.) Do I want to die like Matthew did? Like any other victim did (especially gay people, but etc., etc.). Am I weak for saying that? I want my life to mean something. If I'm dead, that doesn't work very well. I've taken my share throughout my life. I've been called it all (retard, fag, homo, you name it). Do I have rage? Hate? Anger? Yes. Do you see me going out and killing people, then killing myself? No (not time yet, we'll see what Y2K and our fascist friends bring on...)
So, why did I write this piece? To address that stuff above, and one more thing. There have been lots of shootings lately. Suddenly the media takes notice--because there are shootings of white people (yes, the midwest shooting a few weeks ago was a white supremicist killing black and jewish people). In Atlanta, a man kills his family with a hammer, then kills 5 or so more people at the financial institutions. Then kills himself. A gunman in L.A. kills 4 people at a house yesterday, then kidnaps his ex-girlfriend. Today, a white, balding 40-year-old man shoots kids and women at a Jewish community center. Church burnings in Sacramento. School shootings, where the boys seem to target the girls and "outsiders". What does it all mean? Nothing. People always want to know why, but you know what? There isn't always answers for this. The end is coming, and some people are inherently evil. They do it because they can. There is no "why" anymore. All of us are so desensitized to violence, it doesn't shock us (at least most of us 26 and under that I know). We grew up with war, grew up with killing. Our parents tried to teach us right, but the glamour and glory of being famous, of having "things", of getting our 2 weeks of fame for killing people....has consumed all.
It makes me mad to see these "men" go kill their families, friends, etc. over bullshit. Then kill themselves...go kill yourself first, and save all the rest of us the crap you put on us. Yes, I'm not blind to the fact it's mostly men doing all this shooting and serial killing. Cutting access to guns might work, but people will always get weapons. Always. Trying to reach out to these men with peace and love might change their minds. I doubt it, though. We need to breed out the inherent need to kill from men, then dispose of the rest who cannot be retrained. Barring that, get your weapons or faith ready. Y2K is only a few months away.......
Editor's Note: David Grassi and Uppity Women invite discussion of any of the issues raised above. The issues expressed by Mr. Grassi do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editor. (Though some of them might...)