To smart women everywhere:

1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

-Dolly Parton-

2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

-Erica Jong-

3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

-Rita Rudner-

4. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

- Wendy Liebman-

5. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

-Erma Bombeck-

6. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

- Sue Grafton-

7. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

-Roseanne Barr-

8. I think-therefore I'm single.

-Lizz Winstead-

9. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

-Elayne Boosler-

10. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

-Maryon Pearson-

11. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

-Gilda Radner-

12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.

-Margaret Thatcher-

13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

-Gloria Steinhem-

14. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

-Marie Corelli-

15. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.

-Baroness Edith Summerskill

16. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

-Linda Ellerbee

17. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.

-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

SINCE August 20, 2000 YOU ARE UPPITY VISITOR NUMBER 5409