it was funny the way she run all the way home
snivelin and choking back words
that never meant more than she could spit out
at one time
she had laughed once and said I was as much a boy
as any she had known
but I was a girl and that confused her a whole bunch
still, she had kissed me
and then I reckon she had to make sumpin up
to hide her pride or whatever else was holding her back
she used to date that football boy
mostly cuz he had a big ol' truck and could take her places
but she says she don like him much
hows I to know if she do or she don
seems like she never makes up her mind
its like this...I went and got me some wine
cork and all and even picked wild flowers
cuz i know girls be liking that sort of thing
and she turn all red when she see me comin up the drive
and she run down to meet me smilin and redden up again
we wuz like two puppies the way we wuz wrestlin about
she pinched me and i done chased her
she let me catch her and then she stumbled and fell to the ground
and I fell right ontop of her
she laughed again...and it was faerie like
almost heard little music around me
must be touched in the head
my daddy would have called me crazy
well and I might be as folks say
but whats so wrong
with loving a girl if yous a girl
I cants help myself
I never take to any boy like i did with her
maybe only kissed one boy my whole life
and it nevah did nothin to me
nothin like lectricty...nothing like when I kissed her
that was some kind of power
and she kissed me back and slid her tongue into my mouth
and O My...I got all sweaty and my heart beat so fast
I saw that she done closed her eyes and I asked her why
and she told me to hush up and hold her close
and them flowers got all smooshed up between us
but it didnt seem to matter...cuz I held her close
and then we heard the sounds of them boys on their bikes
coming down the drive
and she righted herself and fixed her dress
and ran to the house almost screaming
but it might have been laughter
I know she didnt want anyone to see
and I had to wonder to myself
what was so wrong about the way that she felt
or the way that I knelt
down in front of her when I held her close
I tried to tell my brother Petey
but he looked at me and weird is how it was
He said folks dont cotton to queers
and I should be careful who I told that stuff to
so I dont tell...and she stays in her room
and looks out the window
she smiles but she wont come down and see
she wont kiss me like the day on the drive
and still I never meet anyone like her
no one ever did to me what that girl did
sometimes I see her in school walking
with her other friends
she will look my way
and then whisper to one of them
and then they all start laughing
and I have to wonder
and then I dont...its plain to see
she has herself another girl
one society will accept
I guess
cuz no one is laughing at them
just laughing at me
© by carol marie 1999